It is exceptionally easy to dwell on the negative moments at times that happen in our lives, for sometimes it seems like the more they hurt, the more they stick out in your collective memory.
Happiness and moments of it, can sometimes be fleeting or can last for hours. Sometimes it feels harder to grasp the strings of memory in order to replicate the happiness felt from those beautiful moments.
Sometimes we think that we ‘choose’ to remember those moments. We don’t choose anything with what our subconscious decides to store or what it doesn’t. We don’t sit there and go “Right now I’m going to remember.…” and it pops up into your head. We can repeat moments in our minds, much like a stuck film projector going over the same slide but even that replication won’t last forever, even as much as we want it too or even as much as we may not. Eventually it will fade and become a memory of what was. Floating, fleeting, semi lucid, permanent, whatever the potency of our moments may be, they become us. They make us stronger. They turn to memories that our subconscious decides what is best for them and when to present them back to us.
A passing year is like memories in the mind.
We don’t sit back and select our moments throughout the year. We don’t choose the bad, we wish for the good, and are glad when it ‘just is’. We have stuff happen that hurts. We experience moments that just are the day to day flow of life. We long for moments that will make us feel elated. We all want the beautiful moments of the year to stick out, but sometimes, we have no control at what we remember from years past, much like that of the mind.
The good, the bad, and all that random stuff in between is a growth process, whether you are 10 or 85. There is always something that will beat you down, raise you up or keep you even. You may not know it at that moment, but it all happens for a reason. It may not make a bit of sense at that time, but you grow and learn from it all. You may become grateful for it, you may become hateful from it, or you may become placid with it.
A lot of stuff happened to everyone I know this past year, myself included. The vast spectrum included battles against diseases, broken hearts and bones, realities of war, losing loved ones, falling in love, beautiful babies taking their first breaths, and moving to across town or cross country. All memories now. They may still cause a tear, a smile, a shiver, or a laugh but each of our own personal struggles mold us, they make us, they become one with us. The pain and the happiness and the seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, and eventually the year that they belong to, are gone.
So with this and the parting of 2010, I raise my glass to all of you:
To a New Year, a fresh start, and to more moments and memories to be made, that will only become part of the intricate fabric that is life. Whether they are bad, so-so, or absolutely amazing, allow these moments to make you more of who you are going to be. Grow from them and with them.
Lastly, make the most out of your precious time here, and share that wonder with those that truly value you and want you in their lives. Enjoy every smile, smirk, tear, shout, laugh, kiss-whatever it is. Make the best of it.
~~~~
“You walked into my world, when I very least expected
I had just returned, from my own private war
My mind still wrapped in bandages, my nights still filled with fear
You filled my hands with song, and my heart fluttered
all the way home
I had just returned, from my own private war
My mind still wrapped in bandages, my nights still filled with fear
You filled my hands with song, and my heart fluttered
all the way home
…
And as the sun went down, I was filled with wonder
Perhaps you have to almost die, to feel so entirely alive…”
And as the sun went down, I was filled with wonder
Perhaps you have to almost die, to feel so entirely alive…”
~Every Day-Meg Hutchinson
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